


he's there in the dark, he's there in my heart

by spoopydumpling



Series: Isak + Even One Shots [2]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: 2 am talks, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Comfort/Angst, Dead Even, Dead!Even, Death, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Depressed!Isak, Depression, Fake Character Death, Fear, Heavy Angst, Intense, Jonas Noah Vasquez is a Good Friend, M/M, Sad Ending, Teen Angst, scared, this was really angst so warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-12 12:50:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11162199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoopydumpling/pseuds/spoopydumpling
Summary: Isak's insomnia took a turn for the worst.





	he's there in the dark, he's there in my heart

**Author's Note:**

> ideas like these come at 2 am.
> 
> inspired by when Izzie Stevens sees her dead fiancé in Grey's Anatomy Season 5, Episode 8

_He stood there in horror, like if he was paralyzed. In other words, he was in shock. One minute he was being lectured about not going to church every Sunday, then he’s watching his mother have a seizure the next. The door opened to reveal a tired father. Aware, his father runs to her side to help her. Isak remained still._

_“Isak, go to your room,” his father mumbled as he cradled his wife’s seizing head. Isak didn’t move. He couldn’t. Isak continued to stare wide-eyed at his now limp mother._

_“Now!” Terje shouted impatiently._

Sweat. Cold sweat. He woke up panting. He raked a hand through his damp curls and got up from his bed to get a glass of water.

“It happened again,” he mumbled to himself as he poured the clear liquid into the cup. “Why? Why did it–—”

“Baby?”

Isak turned around and his breath hitched in his throat. “Even, please,” the younger boy croaked. Despite once being together for nearly four years, his breathing still escalates, heart pounds faster, mind runs a million miles an hour… all like if it was the first time he saw him.

Even shook his head softly as he took a step forward. He went to grab his boyfriend’s hands with his ice cold ones. “No, baby. I'm not leaving you.” Even’s hand reached up to wipe away Isak’s tears hurtling down his face.

Isak’s lips quivered, tears falling faster. “You… You already left, Even.”

“No, my angel, I’m right here.”

“You’re the angel.”

“I’m not dead,” Even protested, whispering into Isak’s ear.

Isak took a large gulp. “Yes, you are.”

“Then, explain why I can do this,” Even raked his teeth across Isak’s earlobe, “or,” he nibbled at his neck, “do that. And even better, elaborate on how I can do...” Even paused. Longer than he did for the other times.

He stared deep into his boyfriend’s green eyes. Even tilted his head downwards, his hand pulling softly at Isak’s chin to make him look up. Lips were on lips. It was… gentle. Almost _too_ gentle. Even's lips were feathers tickling Isak's, as if he was there, but never touching.

Isak wanted more, so did Even. They both wanted to kiss so hard, their lips would fall off.

But that’s never the case.

Slowly pulling away from Isak, much to both their dismay, they rested their foreheads against each other's. “If… If I was-wasn’t real, then how come I can do that? We can both feel it.”

Isak stared deeply into Even’s eyes. His lip began to quiver, and his eyes watered gradually. “You’re not real, Even,” he croaked. Even’s heart squeezed, thumping, and Isak could feel it. He could sense it. He could see the pain in his eyes. He might have been falling apart and dying from the inside out, but Isak wasn't blind. If it was one skill he had mastered in the past four years, it would be reading people.

“I am, baby,” Even tried his best to reassure his broken boyfriend. Even tried to keep it together, for the both of them. It wasn’t working out too well.

“No, you’re not, Even!” Isak cried out, pushing Even away. He was too weak so it ended up turning into more of a soft nudge than a harsh push. “You’re a sick boy who managed to steal my heart. I love you with every atom in my body, but Even, you’re not real. You’re fake, you’re fake, you’re fake!” He cried into Even’s chest as he was pulled into a hug.

“Babe, please,” Even whimpered into the younger boy’s hair. “I’m not fake.”

“No, you’re not fake,” Isak huffed as he leaned against the counter. “I could never in a billion years pretend that you are." Even raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "But you are dead, and there's no way to avoid it,” Isak whispered as he raised the cup of water to his lips for the first time throughout the whole conversation.

Even felt it again, the blow to his heart. _You’re not real, Even. Even, please._ It felt like his heart had a thousand splinters, and he was trying his best to pull them all out one by one. Except, it was tiring and a waste of time. Isak felt just the same.

“I think…” Isak began. “I can’t… do this anymore.”

“Can’t do what?” Even mewled.

“I can’t do _this_ ,” he clarified.

“But, Isak, I’m real,” Even coaxed. “You can touch me.”

Isak took a step back. His eyes were beginning to weep, his hair clumping from the overwhelming feelings that made him sweat. He shook his head violently, shutting his eyes. “Stop!” he bellowed, sliding down to the floor. His head shook, body trembled, and eyes locked shut.

“Angel—” his boyfriend began.

“Stop! Stop! Make it stop! Please!” His screams were getting louder and louder. The fragile boy’s voice broke constantly as his screams started sounding scratchy from bawling so hard. It felt like years, but after a few minutes, he felt a pair of hands take hold of him.

“Stop! Leave me alone!” Isak thrashed.

“Shh, Isak, shh,” the nameless figure buttered. Isak recognized the voice. How could he not?

“Jonas,” Isak confirmed, his cries being muted. The damaged boy leaned into the hug as they both sat on the floor. “Don’t leave me alone.” There it was again, the voice crack.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Isak was shivering, his lips quivering, his heart aching, his muscles tensing, and he just wanted it to _stop_.

“That’s what Even said a day before—” Isak couldn’t bring himself to say it. It pained him too much, brought up too many memories of the sun glowing a warm light and bright blue skies that brought dancing clouds. Now, his sun didn’t shine, the skies didn’t sparkle, not even the birds sang beautiful tunes like the ones seen in the movies. Because this wasn't a film. This was life. This was Isak’s life.

And he really wished it wasn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> i think my period made this more intense than i intended... and i apologize for any hearts broken.


End file.
